The New Poker Player:

“Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn’t play poker.”
Amarillo Slim


Hold Em: The Beginning

Texas in the 1900’s, was nothing but, wild crazed, unshaven cowboys, gunmen and outlaws riding into town either drawing guns on each other  to resolve a conflict and play poker. They used to call it “Hold Em” back then, until the 1960’s when four Texans introduced this new, revised game to Las Vegas. One of them was Doyle Brunson who still plays poker today. Even back then, Texas Hold Em wasn’t that popular. The first decade for the WSOP had less than 80 players  entered.After Rounders came out in the late 1990’s, there was a regular 9-5 guy from Georgia named Chris Moneymaker who qualified for a seat at the WSOP from an online poker site for $39.00 and ended up winning the whole fucking tournament! Two and a half million dollars later, Chris and Texas Hold Em have not looked back. Finally poker players are getting endorsements and Doyle Brunson, after 30 plus years is on TV. Mike Moneymaker is getting money for wearing a hat with a poker logo.


A small Costa Rican  company launched its beta site in 2001. After different moves regarding ownership and licensing and financial speculation, suspensions and whatever else government can do to bring an online poker site down, Pokerstars celebrated its biggest online tournament of almost 150,000 people. Analysts say, the company is worth over 2 billion dollars where as Publicly traded gaming site’s stocks went down 60% in 24 hours after George Bush signed the Gambling Enforcement Act in 2006.

Everyone saw that coming.

Even Martha Stewart sold legally this time.If you are ever online playing internet poker, the website is www.USPOKER.NET. Poker websites aren’t that  glamorous. Cartoon like faces playing each other all across the world with meaningless Online ID’s. There are no waitresses serving you drinks. No verbal abuse among players.A dandelion with a smiley face bets real money against a lion with an Army helmet on. PokerVirgin2007 wins a 10,000 dollars tournament within 8 hours just by clicking a mouse and knowing the odds.


At the time I had a bankroll of 30-35k. Not bad. It all started 4 years ago with a deposit of 800.00. Tournaments were more of my liking. Breaks in between. Getting familiar with players and collecting and saving information about them. Antes being raised and more margin for error. Lots of time to comeback if mistakes were made.Cash games are fast with only 6 players per table. Minimum bets of 500.00 WITH NO LIMIT RAISES. Players with bank rolls of 50,100, sometimes 500k. People can come and go as they please. So if “ITdude” wins or loses a pot, he can leave right then and there .Poof!

He’s gone.

I lost my first cash game by 2 players. The hand lasted 30 seconds. His online ID was Wannabe79 and Rookie82.
I was dealt AA. pockets Aces and there was over 20k in the pot before the flop. I am a 99% favorite to win. So I am betting strong. I figure they both have lower pairs.Wannabe 79 checks, and rookie82 immediately bets the pot.Huge bet.They both know I have AA. And he still bets out strong. I call his bet and Wannabe 79 raises another 15k!!! Rookie 82 folds immediately. I am confused and I have to go all in with my 2 year old bankroll.

All of it in the pot with one more card to go.

The river.

And “Wannabe79” shows me his 3 of a kind jacks. In 30 seconds and 35k later I am broke. I stay at the table, just staring at my computer monitor.An hour goes by and their bankroll are even higher than ever and everyone has eventually left the table. I am drinking whiskey by this point, still on the verge of crying. And I see in the chat log, WannaBe79 types, “hey dude, do u have Skype?”
6 Months Later
Its a big pot with over 20k in it. And I get an instant message from Wannabe 79 and he’s telling me to “fold ASAP” and I do. And he wins the pot with a straight flush. The other player bet over 8k into the river and wannabe79 collects over 36k.

And this is how they do it.

This is how I do it.

The next pot, Rookie82 asks what I have and I tell him I have 2 pair an Ace and a Jack. We get the next victim to call the pot and Rookie 82 says, “he has a flush draw” but doesn’t hit. The turn comes and I hit a fullhouse.

I type a text to him, “Fold, I got it.”
If any of the other players raise high enough in early position the 3 of us call the bet and see if we hit it. The key is to keep the early aggressor committed until the end.Just like sales. Keep them commited.If he folds early, we end the play instantly. And we collect a small pot. We play multiple tables. We only play for 6 hours a day meaning we could earn over 100k  in a month and split it 3 ways.We make sure we sit at different areas of the table. One person sits at 12 o’clock, 3 o’clock and 6 o’clock. We only go after players with 30k or more.

Shark chasing.

What’s so good about this pokersite, is that it tells you exactly how much money, each player brought to the table. I have seen players “re-buy” and reload 15k in 20 seconds, which give hunter’s more incentive to stay at tables with a lot of action.Before sitting at a table, you see the pot averages of each hand and the total amount of money in the pockets of each player.Weeks later we hunted for professional poker players. You can type the poker player’s name and instantly you know what table he is at, how he bets, how much he bets and we found Gus Hitchcock. He was up three times more than when he had originally sat down, which was 2 hours ago. He had 75k at the table.

He was the animated Golf Club with a smiley face.

All three of us sat there waiting for him to raise and he did. This was the shark we were all waiting for and raises to 3400.00. A huge raise!!!It was more than what we were used to because if all 3 of us are pot committed,by the time we get to the river, there will be more than 50k at stake! I had to “call,” waiting for my two partners to call behind me.

And I am waiting and waiting.

And before I could tell, they were both gone. Poof.

I grab my phone and text them, “Where’d u go?”

“What happened?”


I am stuck in a pot with Gus, who has nothing better to do than to play a no-limit game with almost 8k in the pot before the flop and my partners are gone. Internet connection gone bad? I called a raise with 7/8 and the flop came 5,6,A and I knew he hit his Ace, betting again with a huge bet of  $7,500 and I call again ,making the pot almost up to 32k. A 4 of clubs hits the turn and he checks.

I check behind him (WITH MY STRAIGHT) and he bets again with 20k as he hits his 3rd Ace on the river. Last and final bet. I re-raise all in with my last 40k and after 30 seconds he calls.My first hand against a professional poker king with almost 70k. Trip Aces vs my straight.

Gus types, “good hand.”

Maybe my partners chickened out. Maybe they quit. But til this day, I am still getting text messages from Wannabe79 and Rookie82, most likely with different online identities by now, but asking me to “give them their share.”

One day they tell me their computers died.

The next day, it was their phones.

Maybe I am their next shark.

(To Be Continued..)


2 thoughts on “The New Poker Player:

  1. Hello, this is actually a nice write-up. You get my vote for The New Poker Player: Courageous,Neurotic, Hilarious Stories of a Salesman kylebedard and also I’ll bookmark this website now.


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