Focus on the bad and manage it

Do you think in order for one to learn to control awkward or negative feelings, you first need to experience it first? Possibly many times? That you need to get used to it first and then manage it? My natural personality is to reach out to people and really try and make it work every time. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. The process is sometimes smooth and sometimes it’s rough, but my intention is to connect. It doesn’t matter if it is a 30 second conversation or a life long relationship. The bottom line is…I try. And I walk away fullfilled.

I’ve learned through practice to power through most of my embarrassments. And that’s a good thing because embarrassment/rejection is a routine part of my job. I am in sales. I think having awkward or embarrassing conversations and approaching strangers/clients in the past, has made me a better professional. I am more polished and more fearless. But, most of all..more empathetic.

I think we can all agree, that anyone who has healthy, successful relationships …who have gone through real painful transitions to get where they are today have taken fear, rejections and embarrassment out of their “vocabulary.” It’s a risk they take every day.

If you had to choose, would you choose

a) the most humiliating experience, but followed by a huge, long term reward or

b) keep your pride and take no risk of humility.. end up with a  modest, comfortable life of steady, but predictable outcomes… what would you choose?

Be honest.

In order to determine if we are really ready for the challenge…we would need some sort of preliminary experience. Some of us cant “jump right in.”

Let’s say, high speed or heights made you scream like a little girl –  maybe the task would be to go onto a roller coaster and if you finished the ride without screaming, you would receive some sort of emotional/financial return. Like a “Fear Factor” type experience.

But the process was humiliating and embarrassing because the process was continuous and never ending until you stopped screaming. But no matter how many times you screamed, the screams got shorter in length every time.  How many times would it take you until you completed the ride without screaming? 5, 10,100? 1000?

Some of us dare to be faster, stronger, smarter, more attractive… but what if we were more fearless and persistent with what we already have? Would that get us to where we want to go too? Have the most successful people in the world managed  “riding the roller coaster over and over again and mastered the art of embarrassment?

I am willing to bet yes. What could we really accomplish without caring about  humility? I am thinking…a lot.

Two things I wanted to share:

1) A sales group on Linkedin:

2) A short story on a sales manager


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